What's my problem? A problem-solving tarot spread
Upset spread: A tarot spread for when you're upset

Self-compassion: A tarot spread for being kind to yourself

Is "self-compassion" a challenging concept for you? Maybe you're too hard on yourself. Maybe you need to be kind to yourself for a change.

Berating yourself for

  • something you did,
  • something you failed to do,
  • something you thought, or
  • something you feel you shouldn't be,

is not constructive. Research suggests that self-compassion is a gentle and effective way to deal with something you're ashamed of.

Self-compassion is being kind to yourself.

It is not self-pity; it does not lead to narcissism; and it does not blind you to your faults.

It does motivate you to improve yourself, and it does make you happier.

Dr Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field of self-compassion, writes, "It is a kind, connected, and clear-sighted way of relating to ourselves even in instances of failure, practiced inadequacy, and imperfection."

If you feel you could do with some self-compassion (and we all do!), try this nine-card spread I created. It will help you move forward from a painful mindset:

Spread Self-compassion

  1. What am I ashamed of?
  2. Why am I ashamed of it?
  3. What am I directly responsible for?
  4. If I look at it from a distance (perhaps five years from now or from the moon), what do I see?
  5. What would a compassionate friend say to me?
  6. What do I need to understand about myself?
  7. What needs to happen or change for healing to begin?
  8. Instead of criticizing myself, I could ...
  9. At this moment, I am OK.

I have listed two books below if you should wish to know more about self-compassion (no affiliate links). If you want research articles on the subject, please get in touch with me, I can send you a list.

As always, if you need a brief refresher on reading tarot cards, look at my free article, "How to read tarot cards: A quick guide."

You might also consider my tarot-reading course, "Reading the cards for your self."

If you like this post and spread, please share it on Facebook or Twitter with the buttons below!

And follow The Sceptic's Tarot on Facebook and Twitter by clicking the links in the sidebar.


Germer, C.K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions. New York: Guilford Press.

Neff, K.D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. New York, William Morrow.

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