The Sceptic's Tarot

Is "self-compassion" a challenging concept for you? Maybe you're too hard on yourself. Maybe you need to be kind to yourself for a change.

Berating yourself for

• something you did,
• something you failed to do,
• something you thought, or
• something you feel you shouldn't be,

is not constructive. Research suggests that self-compassion is a gentle and effective way to deal with something you're ashamed of.

Self-compassion is being kind to yourself.

It is not self-pity; it does not lead to narcissism; and it does not blind you to your faults.

It does motivate you to improve yourself, and it does make you happier.

Dr Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field of self-compassion, writes, "It is a kind, connected, and clear-sighted way of relating to ourselves even in instances of failure, practiced inadequacy, and imperfection."

If you feel you could do with some self-compassion (and we all do!), try this nine-card spread I created. It will help you move forward from a painful mindset:

1. What am I ashamed of?
2. Why am I ashamed of it?
3. What am I directly responsible for?
4. If I look at it from a distance (perhaps five years from now or from the moon), what do I see?
5. What would a compassionate friend say to me?
6. What do I need to understand about myself?
7. What needs to happen or change for healing to begin?
8. Instead of criticizing myself, I could ...
9. At this moment, I am OK.

I have listed two books below if you should wish to know more about self-compassion (no affiliate links). If you want research articles on the subject, please get in touch with me, I can send you a list.

As always, if you need a brief refresher on reading tarot cards, look at my free article, "How to read tarot cards: A quick guide."

You might also consider my tarot-reading course, "Reading the cards for your self."

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Books

Germer, C.K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions. New York: Guilford Press.

Neff, K.D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. New York, William Morrow.