The Sceptic's Tarot

If you believe tarot cards can reveal hidden things, it’s tempting to delve into someone else’s head. What does he feel about me? Is my ex going out with someone else? If so, who? How can I get my mother-in-law to move out? Why did she do that?

This is called “other reading” or “third-party reading.” You can also call it psychic stalking.

What you are asking is for the cards to reveal someone else’s secret feelings, thoughts, desires, motivations, and fears. Or maybe you want to know how to control their actions.

To put it mildly, it's like stepping onto a psychic slippery slope.

Think of it this way: how would you feel if someone else asked the cards about you? Would you be fine with them sifting into your secret feelings and thoughts?

The truth is: whatever you ask the cards about someone else will inevitably reveal your own feelings, thoughts, desires, motivations, and fears. (Don’t we always have an opinion about someone else’s affairs?) This is especially true when you have powerful feelings about this person or a vested interest in the outcome of your dealings with them.

Grey areas, of course, exist. What about relationship spreads? Sometimes you need to take someone else’s perspective into account. Some spreads might contain questions such as, What does he want from this relationship? What are her hopes for this relationship?

To keep from going down that slippery slope, keep the focus of the reading on yourself. Accept that you can only try to see things from the other’s perspective. Turn, Does he like me? into, What do I need to know about the potential of this relationship? How can I deepen our relationship? What can I learn from this person?

Even a question such as, What does my partner need from me? should only be explored by trying to see things from the other’s perspective and not by delving into his or her mind.

In this way, you might gain deeper insights into how to communicate effectively and how to strengthen the bond instead of obsessing over someone else's thoughts and feelings. You might also begin to understand and cope with wanting to read someone else's mind.